Whose Who

There was an elderly man visiting a doctor for his check-up. As he was leaving he asked the doctor if he could recommend a specialist for his wife. "What's wrong with her?" asked the doctor. The old man explained that her hearing was getting so bad that it was almost embarrassing. The doctor said he knew of several specialists that could help but he wanted the old man to do a little test when he got home to help the doctor determine the severity of her hearing loss. The doctor said "When you get home, make sure your wife's back is turned to you and ask her a question. If she doesn't respond walk closer and ask her again. Keep doing this until she answers and let me know the results".

That night when the old man opened the door of his home he could see his wife in the kitchen preparing dinner. She was at the counter with her back to the door. "What's for dinner?" the old man asked. His wife did not respond so he walks to the doorway of the kitchen and asked the question again. Still, he was greeted with silence. This time he walks up just behind her and asks once again "What's for dinner?" His wife spins around a bit agitated and says "For the third time, Fried Chicken!!"

Blessed

"What are you so happy about?" a women asked the ninety eight-year-old man.
"I broke a mirror," he replied.
"But that means seven years of bad luck."
"I know," he said, beaming. "Isn't it wonderful?"

two old ladies

Two elderly ladies had been friends since their 30s. Now in their 80s, they still got together a couple of times a week to play cards. One day they were playing gin rummy and one of them said, "You know, we’ve been friends for many years and, please don't get mad, but for the life of me, I can't remember your name. Please tell me what it is."
Her friend glared at her. She continued to glare and stare at her for at least three minutes. Finally, she said, "How soon do you need to know?"

Secret For a Long Life

A woman walks up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch.
Women: I couldn’t help noticing how happy you look, she says. What’s your secret for a long, happy life?
Old man: I smoke three packs a day, drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods and never, ever exercise.
Women: Wow, that’s amazing, says the woman. How old are you?
Old man: Twenty-six.