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Funny Proverbs



A desk without paperwork is a sign of one born to delegate.
A tidy desk is the sign of a disturbed mind.
Hard work never hurt anyone. But then why risk it?
Make sure you are not irreplaceable: if you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
Multi-tasking: the art of screwing up everything all at once.
Nothing is so simple that it cannot be screwed up.
Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
(Thomas Edison)
There are two kinds of people in life: people who like their jobs and people who don’t work here any more.
When you own your own business, you only have to work half a day.You can do anything you want with the other twelve hours.


42% of all statistics
are made up.

Ability is what you are able to do,
motivation determines what
you do, attitude decides how
well you do it.

The absent are always wrong.

Act as if you cannot fail.
(South Africa)

All good things come to
whoever gets there first.

Always remember: you’re unique.
Just like everyone else.

An anecdote in time
saves boredom.

A day without sunshine is
like . . . night.

A clean house is the sign of a
misspent life.

A clear conscience is usually the
sign of a bad memory.

A man surrounded by pygmies
will always look big.

Ambition without knowledge is
like a canoe without a paddle.

An apple a day keeps the doctor
away. Remember that the next
time you can’t get an appointment.

Anything worth taking seriously
is worth poking fun at.

As long as your mistakes are new
ones you can argue that you are
making progress.

Boredom is the price you pay for
staying out of trouble.

Crap or get off the pot.

Danger and delight grow on the
same stalk.

Discipline is making the choice
between what you want now and
what you want most.

Do not follow the path;
go where there is no path
and begin the trail . . .
(South Africa)

Do not insult the mother
alligator until after you have
crossed the river.

Don’t bite the hand that feeds you.
That’s masochistic.

Do not walk behind someone for
they may not lead. Do not walk
ahead of them, for they may not
follow. Do not walk beside them,
either. Just leave them alone.


A secondary school teacher made a list of some well known proverbs and gave the class
the first half of the proverbs, so that they could complete the sayings. Here’s what they
came up with:

As you make your bed so
 shall you . . . mess it up.

Better to be safe than . . .
hit a teacher.

You can lead a horse
to water but . . . how?

Don’t bite the hand that . . .
looks dirty.

A miss is as good as a . . . mr.

You can’t teach an
old dog . . . maths.

The pen is mightier
than the . . . pigs.

An idle mind is . . .
the best way to relax.

There’s no smoke
without . . . pollution.

A penny saved . . .
is not much.

Two’s company, three’s . . .
the musketeers.

Laugh and the world laughs with
you, cry and . . . you must blow
your own nose.

Children should be seen
and not . . . smacked or grounded.

When the blind
leadeth the
blind . . . best get
out of the way.

Never underestimate the
power of . . . termites.

No news is . . .

Love all, trust . . . me.

Don’t put off till tomorrow
what . . . you put on to go to bed.

None are so blind as . . .
Stevie Wonder.

If at first you don’t succeed . . .
get new batteries.

People in glass
houses shouldn’t . . .
run around naked.

There’s no
fool like . . .
Uncle Johnny.

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