I was so ugly when i was born, the doctor slapped my mother.
-Henny Youngman
When i went to college, my parents threw a going party for me, accourding to the letter.
-Emo Philips
I always look for a women, who has a tattoo. I see a women with a tattoo and i'm thinking, okay, here's a gal who's capable of making a decision she'll regret in the future.
-Richard Jeni
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