Bad Conductor

A little old lady is on a bus, buying a ticket from the bus conductor. She fumbles in a voluminous bag for the correct change.

After 15 minutes the conductor becomes so enraged that he hits her on the head with the ticket-dispenser, and the poor old dear dies instantly.

Not surprisingly, he is convicted and put on death row.

Just before he is to be electrocuted, his last request is for 12 pounds of bananas, which he devours.


They strap him into the chair, flip the switch, and nothing happens! He just sits there, smiling. According to tradition, this is considered a reprieve from God, so the man is freed.

Somehow he gets his old job back, and he happily dispenses tickets until he sees a girl stick her wad of gum onto a seat on the bus. Enraged, he lunges out with the ticket dispenser, breaking the offender's neck and killing her.

Again, he is convicted and sent to death row. He again eats the 12 pounds of bananas and, lo and behold, the electricity doesn't harm him. So again, he is set free.

Amazingly, he regains his job! It takes him just one day to lose his temper and beat to death a young boy who is chewing on his bus ticket. He returns to death row.

Again he eats 12 pound of bananas before the execution. This time the executioner cleans the contacts, makes him sit in a bucket of water, he tries everything - but the conductor survives the electrocution with nary a twitch.

At this point, the executioner can take no more - his professional pride has been hurt. Before setting our friend free again, he asks him his secret - what is it with the bananas?

"Oh, the bananas have nothing to do with it," replies our friend. "I'm just a really bad conductor."