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Saturday, May 15, 2010

Sardarji




Sardarji is buying a TV. "Do you have color TVs?"

"Sure."

"Give me a green one, please."

* * * * * *

EMPLOYMENT..

Our Sardarji was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly filled the columns titled NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc. Then he came to the column "Salary Expected" : He was not sure as to what to be filled there. After much thought he wrote : Yes

* * * * * *

A sardar goes into a store and sees a shiny object. He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?" The clerk replies, "That is a thermos flask." The sardar then asks, "What does it do?" The clerk responds, "It keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold." The sardar says,

"I’ll take it!"

The next day, he walks into work with his new thermos. His sardar boss sees him and asks, "What is that shiny object with you?" He said, "It's a thermos flask." The boss then says, "What does it do?" He replies, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?" The sardar replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."

* * * * * *

A Sardar took an answering machine home and fixed it home somewhere in

Rajasthan, but two days later disconnected it because he was getting complaints "like why this phone is not telling the people that we are not at home?" (he has not even recorded any message!!!)

* * * * * *

What will a Sardarji do after taking photocopies?

He will compare it with the original for spelling mistakes!!

* * * * * *

What will a Sardarji do if he wants an additional white sheet of paper? (he already has one and he wants one more..) He takes a photocopy of the white paper !!!

* * * * * *

Once there was a meeting of all the Surd freedom fighters. They were planning for free Punjab. Santa Singh raised a point, "Oh! .we'll get Punjab from India but how would we develop it?"

That was a difficult question indeed.

Suddenly Banta Singh replied, "No problem! We’ll attack USA, it would take over us and then we would be a state of USA and we'll automatically get developed."

All the surds became happy on this very simple solution but an old surd did not utter a single word. Someone asked him why he wasn't happy. The surd replied, "OH! THAT'S ALRIGHT BUT...WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF BY CHANCE WE TAKE OVER USA ?????"

* * * * * *

Sardar went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this small TV," he told the salesman. "Sorry, we don't sell to SARDARs," he replied. He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style, and returned to tell the

salesman "I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," Salesman replied. "Damn, he recognized me," he thought. he went for a complete disguise this time, haircut and new hair color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before he again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied. Frustrated, he exclaimed "How do you know I'm a Sardar?" "Because that's a microwave," he replied.

* * * * * *

Why can't Sardar dial 911?

They can not find the eleven on the phone

* * * * * *

How do you get Sardar on the roof?

Tell him the drinks are on the house.

* * * * * *

"Oh, look at the dead bird."

Sardar looked skyward and said "Where, Where?

* * * * * *

What do smart Sardar and UFOs have in common?

You always hear about them but you never see them.

* * * * * *

Why does it take longer to build a Sardar snowman as opposed to a regular one? You have to hollow out the head.

* * * * * *

TO LOSE WEIGHT..

The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight kilometers a day for

300 days,

he would loose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called

the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a

problem. "What's

the problem?" asked the doctor. "I'm 2400 kms from home."

* * * * * *

TRAIN TO LUDHIANA..

Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh are in a railway station. Hari

Singh asks

the clerk: "Can I take this train to Ludhiana?"

"No," answers the Railway man.

"Ha ha then Can I?" asks Gani Singh.

* * * * * *

A Sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park Movie and when the Dinosaurs start

approaching he is cowering in his seat when his friend asks him "why are u worrked? This is only a movie." Sardarji hurridly replies "Ya you and me know that. But the Dinosaurs don't know that".

* * * * * *

Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he takes along some wine and chicken with him. Somebody stops him and asks "why are you taking those things when you are going to dye?"

Sardarji replies "If the train comes late then I will die in starvation"

* * * * * *

Once a Sardarji was traveling on a train. He felt sleepy so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train 20 rupees to wake him up when the designated station arrived. This guy was a barber, and he felt that for 20 rupees, the sardarji deserved more service. So, when the Sardarji fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard.

When the station arrived, the Sardarji was woken up, and he went home. Reaching home, he went to wash his face, and suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror. Said his wife " What's the matter?" Replied he "The cheat on the train has taken my 20 rupee and woke someone else".

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