Mobile bill

Banta: Excuse me... how much is my mobile bill?
Call centre girl: Sir, just dial 123 to know current bill status
Banta: Stupid, not CURRENT BILL [Electricity bill :)] my MOBILE BILL.

Relaxing

Santa Singh was enjoying the sun at the beach in America .
A lady came and asked him, 'Are you relaxing?'
Santa Singh answered, 'No, I am Santa Singh'
Another guy came and asked him the same question.
Santa Singh answered, 'No! No! Me Santa Singh!'
A third one came and asked him the same question again.
Santa Singh was totally annoyed and decided to shift his
place.
While walking he saw another man soaking in the sun.
He went up to him and asked, 'Are you Relaxing?'
The other man was a lot more educated and answered,
'Yes, I am relaxing.'
Santa Singh slapped him on his face and said,'Stupid,
idiot. Everyone is
looking for you and you are sitting over here!'

Open Sky

Santa Singh and Banta Singh were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep.
Sometime in the middle of the night Santa woke Banta up and said: “Banta, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see.”
Banta replied: “I see millions and millions of stars.”
Santa said: “and what do you deduce from that?”
Banta replied: “Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. And if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life.”
And Santa said: “Banta, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.”

Double Coat

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.

The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time.

He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat. She replies that she was reading the
directions on the paint can and they said....
FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.

Democracy?

In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?