Marks or No Marks?

Santa Singh wasn't getting good marks in school. One day he made the
teacher quite surprised.
He tapped her on the shoulder and said., "I don't want to scare you, but
my daddy says if I don't get better grades.... somebody is going to get a
spanking...."

Nothing to Worry

A 70 years old man asks his wife "do u feel sad when u see me running
behind young girls?"
Wife replied "No not at all, even dogs chase cars but they can't drive it"

An Interview

In an interview,
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Banta: Druumrrr... ruuu.... druuuuu....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Banta: Drrr drup drup drup....

A Wise Man

A wise man washes his hands after he pees. A wiser man doesn't pee on his hands.

i love you

Just Spots

Santa "I've been seeing spots in front of my eyes."
Banta: "Have you seen a doctor?"
Santa: "No, just spots."

Google Knows everything

Google must be a woman, it knows everything.

No Petrol

Tony: What is the name of your car?
Jane: mmm.. I forgot the name, but it starts with 'T'.
Tony: Oh!!!, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know
start with petrol.

Santa Banta

Santa : People consider me as a "GOD"
Banta : How do you know?
Santa : When I went to the park today, everybody said, "Oh GOD you
have come again"'

Santa Banta

One day Santa was in a restaurant, when he suddenly realized that he
desperately needed to Fart. The music was really, really loud, so he
timed his gas with the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs, he started to feel better. He finished his coffee,
and noticed that everybody was staring at him.....
Then he suddenly remembered that he was listening to his MP3 player with ear phone on.

Taxi Driver

A naked and drunken woman boards to a taxi in Chicago one night.
The taxi driver keeps staring at her and does not start the taxi.
Woman: “Haven't you ever seen a naked woman before?”
Driver: “I’m not staring at you madam………
Just wondering where have you kept the money to pay the taxi charges.”

The Parrot

A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot..
There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00.
"Why so little," she asked the pet store owner.
The owner looked at her and said,
"Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of Prostitution and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff."
The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird any way.
She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something.
The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, new madam."
The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought "that's really not so bad."
When her 2 teenage daughters returned from school the bird saw and said,
"New house, new madam, new girls."
The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the parrot had been raised.
Moments later, the woman's husband Keith came home from work.
The bird looked at him and said,
"Hi, Keith!" .

Who said english is easy?

Fill in the blank with YES or NO.
1 .... I dont have brain
2 .... I dont have sense
3 .... I am stupid

Who will get the Diamond?

Q: A precious diamond is kept in a room and three people are allowed to
enter at the same time
1. Superman 2. An intelligent sardarji 3. A dumb sardarji
Who do you think gets the diamond first?
A: The dumb sardarji! Because the other two are fictitious character

Husbands

The Smiths were dining out when his wife noticed her ex-husband at the bar.
"Honey," she said as she pointed the guy out, "that guy at the bar has been drinking like that since I left him seven years ago."
Her husband said, "That's silly, no one celebrates that much."

What a Coincidence

A chicken farmer went to a local bar.... Sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne..
The woman perks up and says, 'How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!'
'What a coincidence' the farmer says. 'This is a special day for me.... I am celebrating'
'This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating!' says the woman.
'What a coincidence!' says the farmer! As they clinked glasses the man asked, 'What are you
celebrating?'
'My husband and I have been trying to have a child and today my gynecologist told me that I am
pregnant!'
'What a coincidence,' says the man. 'I'm a chicken farmer and for years all of my hens were infertile,
but today they are all laying fertilized eggs.'
'That's great!' says the woman. 'How did your chickens become fertile?'
'I used a different cock,' he replied.
The woman smiled and said, 'What a coincidence.'

Bread and Butter

The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.

Friendship..

If you need advice, text me... If you need a friend, call me... If you need me, come to me... If you need money... ........... THE SUBSCRIBER CANNOT BE REACHED!

Funny Quote

A woman in love can't be reasonable - or she probably wouldn't be in love.
- Mae West

True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal

Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West